Thoughts of an ex-suicide candidate

Beautiful soft melodies of the winter carry me through the twilight of the noon. A moment transforms itself into another one as I define my existence in the flow of the being. The moment I have been waiting for is finally so close I can almost feel it. However, my thoughts about the continuance of the events leading to the final cut have changed, and now I look forward feeling nothing but excitement, not knowing what will come or what will happen. The news of the morning have once again made me to re-define my stance towards the world, towards the thoughts I once cherished; my thoughts about the final cut. A nice little walk outside gives me something else to think for a while. I feel the cold breeze of winter on my face. The coldness and the snow embrace me, and all the colors and white, blue, and grey reveal themselves to me as I remeber the bygone days of the earlier times.
My empty home greets me.
I have forgotten how to write.
Too much time has passed since the last time I wrote.
The words have escaped, and I cannot define the moment,
or my thoughts of it.
My piano leans forgotten and alone against the wall.
I'm sorry my old friend,
too much time have passed since the last time I cherished your keys,
and let the melodies burst out of you.
My heart so busy,
confused and scared,
yet now knowing the direction where to go.
And I let the same tune ring over and over again,
the tune of sanity in this utterly insane world.
A little, beautiful piece of inspiration strikes me at this silent saturday afternoon.
Thank you for writing such beautiful words, once again.
A descrption of a feeling.
I hope you are feeling alright, my unknown friend,
yet I'm also sorry for doing the same thing as you,
my friend of misery,
and soul.

I open my eyes, and I decide to get up and face the day. My being-for-myself is collapsing with my being-for-the-other, but I wont let that bother me now.  Or maybe they are the same thing after all. I don't know; and now I don't feel like finding it out. Just make it worth it, and in the end it's nothing but love...