I climb up many boring steps before I reach my destination. Visions of the world surround me; they are all meaningless. I face the nothingness of the present. I realize the flow of time. "Long time no see", she says. A feeling of relief covers me. After a week of experience of what used to be, I am back at where I belong.
Too many days have passed. No words, no thoughts, no ideas. Emptiness. Darkness. The memories of youth embrace me. That's all gone now. I am that what I have been and what I have not been, what I want to be and what I do not want to be. The thought about the coming middle-age pulls me down. I do not know why though. "Age is just a number", you say. "But it's not about the age", I reply. "It never was. It's about facing the future."
Under a dark starry sky I walk towards home. The last shades of winter surround me. I know we all have a chance to realize the world, to find what we are looking for. My words reach no one. I am alone. Together alone with you, my dark-haired beloved friend. Solitude is a great companion, but enough is enough. Memories of the past intertwine. The present opens up like a blank canvass. The future lies ahead unknown. I sit by the river and make the best out of the moment. Now it's gone. My existence opens up my being. Finally you have returned.
Eyes closed
no one around
silently the darkness vanishes
the existence of time creates the existence of the self
The existence of the self creates being
otherness creates meaning to being
for you I live
for you I will live
I'm coming home.
