The forgotten ornaments of Christmas are still hanging over my window. It's getting dark outside, and the days between Christmas and the end of the year are passing slowly by. The events of the year have made the time in the between to pass so fast that it has been difficult to keep track of it. My sad existence may have found a purpose now. It's funny how those little things that mostly go unnoticed can actually make a difference once you pay attention to them. It's true that the more you want to find the more difficult it gets to make a sense out of it all. And in the end it's the simple presence of a person that can change everything in the world.
As I find myself feeling upset because of the bygone Christmas I realize once again that I have let the misery of the world to cover everything else. Once I was there but I don't want to go there again. It is a terrifying moment to find yourself stuck in between the not-anymore and the not-yet, without realizing that it is all you have and all you ever will have. It does not matter what you have been or what you will become; what matters is what you will make out of yourself in the between. A continuance of the moments; not a perfect one, but one that makes sense.
Life is a sad and lonely path, but it is so much easier to walk through after you have realized the catch. Then you can find your way home. IT's never easy, but it shold not be. And a presence of a loved one can make it all worth it in the end. One Christmas has gone once again. This year has been a fascinating one. There is much to look forward to for the following one, but one can never tell how things will turn out. I have finally found my being-for-the-other. To make sense. To forget. To forgive.
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