December

I don't want to think too much right now. All the wasted time of my past does not seem to matter. I wonder what can I write at a moment when all seems to intertwine into something that does not make any difference. It is the most beautiful time of the year. I think of my childhood and everything that has happened during the past twenty years. So I end up thinking, after all. And it makes me so silent. Everything is so silent. I'm silent, the moment is solent, the waiting of tomorrow is silent, my apartment is silent. This year has gone so fast. I thought this year would turn out just like any other year, but something unexpectable happened. And it changed everything, indeed. Everything is different. I'm different. Darkness and the cold, rainy weather outside does not bring any thoughts of winter, but it does not matter. My mind is empty. Everything has changed, and I thought this would never happen to me. And I'm not complaining. There's nothing to write. I let the darkness and the loneliness embrace me once again. I think of her, my beautiful friend. A happy thought makes me smile a bit. I wish all the best for you all..love and peace...beautiful holidays...because sometimes there can be moments when you think that everything is over and there is no reason to go on anymore. I might be wrong, but it seems that if you can hold on, there, after all, will be love in the end, and nothing but love...