Surreal. I see figures that don't make any sense. I feel a heavy wave sweeping over me. The darkness falls all over the place and I feel how I'm floating slowly to the floor. I can't move. Helplessly I watch as the figures move around me. I can't hear what they are saying. I'm numb and sore. My head spins. The darkness and the heavy pressure of emptiness surround me. I am in a place I cannot recognize. Dream and reality intertwine. The pain gets insurmountable. Am I being punished? Is this the punishment I get for wasting my life, for not appreciating it enough? Is this the punishment I get for not making all the efforts I was supposed to, for not putting myself at stake? Is this the punishment I get for all the wasted days? There are too many questions but not a single answer. I loose my senses, and for a minute there I think I loose myself.
As long as I can remember I have had difficulties sleeping, but never before have I faced such a terrible and long period of insomnia as the one I am going through now. I can't make any sense to the situation. I don't feel tired yet; I feel very weird. However, I think that soon this is going to turn into a complete exhaustion. Sad image in the mirror faces the morning. The dark circles around my eyes are getting all the shades of black. The quiet streets of the early morning greet me as I walk to the train station. Stillness of the morning comforts me. I feel anguish. I stare at the screen. I get nothing done at work. I'm afraid of the coming night although there is still the whole day to go before it comes. My mind is empty. Nothing good can come out of this.
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